School

I definitely will be challenged to grow this session with school.

COM/150 - EFFECTIVE ESSAY WRITING:

• This course will be a huge challenge because writing is a weak point for me and something that needs working on.
• I chose my final expository essay topic "Calorie Restriction and increasing ones longevity"

CRT/205 - CRITICAL THINKING

• This class is fascinating. Its about critical thinking which I attribute to self awareness we will see where this takes me
• I definitely need to work on this also!!!

Needless to say this session will be challenging. Critical thinking will be easy, I used to do a lot of it and got out of the habit of doing it!!! That was a bad move!!

Moving

So I will be moving soon, my father is talking about walking away from the house. I don't blame him, I was going to give him a couple of months notice when my current roommates on January 9th. I gave them 2 months to make arrangements for a new place. They should be moving out by March 9th.

I don't want to rent a house. I want to be near work and I don't want to pay as much as I am paying now. I need to save up some money.

I have found a few places on the east side and I am excited I will be going to look at them this week or next week.

A concern I have is my dog Kira and being inside all day. If i do get a place near work I can come home at lunch and let her out.

School

Well I have great news now. Here are my grades from my last Classes

GEN 105 "86.6%"
COM 150 "97.8%"

I would have had an "A" in GEN 105 however i turned in an incorrect assignment. I was pissed that it happened but I learned my lesson.

Dreams tell the tale!!

So I know I have issues everybody does. I somehow ended up suppressing part this particular issue which made things worse. I don't remember weather it was a conscious decision but I do know it was not the right one to make. The dream I had was a good dream, I felt happy and lets me know i need to get some closure. Basically I have abandonment issues. My father, my step dad and someone that I loved. I have dealt with My Father and step dad and gotten a lot of closure from that. But the one I have not been able to deal with and was a person that I fell in love with, his name started with a "P" one day everything stopped and he disappeared. I guess I really did not deal with it. It was after that I got on my antidepressants. Later I started dating again, however I never let anyone get that close to me. Don't get me wrong I cared about my boyfriends but I never really let them in to deep. This was not a conscious decision and it bugged me because I wanted to let them in and it just was not really happening on the level that I wanted or on a level I knew I was capable of. Over the last year I have ran into his name a few times and it invoked some really sad and painful feelings. So I think I am going to write a letter to help get some closure.

School

So I have been working on my life getting things together to reach my goal. I am going to school at the university of phoenix getting a degree in IT/Programming. I am getting an A in one of my classes and a B in the other. My finals are next week I am going to start working on them Friday and have them done by Monday.

Last year

Last year I made a lot of progress.

• Got off the anxiety/depression medication Cymbalta. That was rough and given the choice I would have never taken it had I known how hard it was going to be. I am happy for the most part now without the medications and I actually feel all emotions not just some.
• Changed my diet got my blood pressure down.
• Started School again.
• Took a vacation to Colorado and visited Mr Dabrowski whom Is always a good host I almost died from eating to healthy and exercising to much. I also blame him for my hypersensitivity to sound, which i have had since I came back.
  
• Made some important decisions about what I need to do in the next few years.
  

wow open wounds

Have you ever been in a situation where you find something out and your face gets flush and you have that pit of sickness in your stomach?
Well I cant be specific currently. But I am feeling that way right now along with being sad/hurt.
You go about life learning and growing but sometimes things happen. Sometimes these things do not give you closure. Sometimes these things are like an open wound that just keeps coming back every so often. I wonder why I cant seem to get over this. I thought I was but the fact that my body is having a reaction like this shows me I am not. It also shows me that I am capable of feeling things that I have not felt in a long time. I need to get my shit together more. There is no excuse I just need to do it.